Numb...

Earlier today, my campus minister asked me what one word would describe the way I feel right now. I thought about it for a few seconds, but all I could think was, "numb."

I don't mean numb in a negative sense. Things are actually going quite well, and I'm seeing answered prayers right and left. My numbness isn't a reaction to some kind of hurt or pain, but rather it's a reaction to sheer overstimulation.

The cozy little life-bubble that I've been living in quite comfortably for the past 4 years has popped, and everywhere I look, I see new places, new people, new tasks, new joys, new sorrows, new issues, new everything. Well...not new everything. That would be an overstatement. I am constantly reminded that even my new surroundings, we are serving the same God.

Not only is most everything in my life completely new right now, but everything seems to be...well...bigger. No more quiet little campus tucked away in the Birmingham suburbs. And there are so so so many more people. This is not a bad thing. Not at all. I'm actually quite excited about it, but that doesn't mean it isn't hard.

It's no wonder that my Meyers-Briggs personality indicator placed me just barely on the Introverted side. I feel like my life is a constant struggle between those two sides of my personality. My introverted side tends to become upset when he gets ignored and pushed aside, and he finds ways to come back with a vengeance. He's been getting quite testy lately.

So I find myself holed up here in Starbucks...decompressing and desperately trying to process everything going on in my life right now. But is there so much going on...hence the numbness. Again, things are going very well, but my heart's processor is just a little backlogged. So you'll forgive me, of course, if this post is more informational and less reflective ("but this whole post has been nothing but reflection so far," you say. "good grief, you just gave personalities to the two different sides of your personality." you make a good point.)

Now that I've got all that out of the way...what has been going on since my last non-food related post? a LOT.

• We had our 2nd large group on Tuesday, and we had even more students show up than before (largely because sorority rush was going on the first week). Brent, our campus minister, began his fall series, "Relationships: Dating, Marriage, and Sex." I was able to meet a lot more students, and it was again a great and very encouraging experience.
• We had our first Freshman Guys Bible Study on Thursday afternoon. Brent is leading it, and we will be studying the Sermon on the Mount. We had 25 guys show up, which was fantastic! I made many more connections there, and I look forward to hanging out and getting to know these guys better over the next few weeks and months.
• We just got back from our Ministry Team retreat in beautiful Townsend, TN...just outside the Great Smoky Mountains National Park. There are 55 students on 2 different ministry teams, one for Upperclassmen (also known as the "Varsity") and one for sophomores (also known as, yes, the "JVs"). The ministry team is made up of students who are committed to serving their fellow students through ministry with RUF.

Brent did a wonderful job organizing the retreat. Instead of focusing on ministry business and details and logistics, the majority of the time was spent on our own personal walks with Christ and discussing what it meant to live in Christian community. Brent told us our job, ultimately, is to grow in Christ and rub off on others. None of the other stuff matters if we as a staff and ministry team aren't growing in our own walks with Christ and learning to show each other love and live in community. Our service must flow out of that. We did cover some important business and logistics for the semester, but it was so refreshing to be able to put first things first.

We drove into the park this afternoon, and we were able to have some quiet alone time. This was a great blessing. Even just an hour of quiet in God's beautiful Creation was such a welcome respite in the midst of life's recent craziness.

As great as the retreat was, I do still find myself again in the position of fighting off my introverted side's vindictive attacks. I had to push him back this weekend, and now he is demanding my attention. (thus, the reason i'm holed up in starbucks.) I would ask prayer as I find ways to work with the personality that God has given me. As "extroverted" as I have to be in this job, I must also respect my introverted side, and I have to give him time. Otherwise, he will make my life miserable.

Well, this post is already longer (and more reflective) than I had intended. Sometimes writing is a good way to process. I should do this more.

Before I write a book, let me go ahead and talk about the exciting stuff coming up.

• This week (starting tomorrow afternoon) I will begin meeting one-on-one with students, predominantly freshmen guys. I greatly covet your prayers, as I feel so inadequate for this particular aspect of the job. On the one hand, I find myself wanting to jump in and "fix" things with my own "wisdom," and on the other hand, I find myself not knowing what the heck to say. Pray that I will know when to hold back and when to speak up. Pray that I will be able to be a friend to these guys, and that I will be able to reflect Christ's love in their life. Pray that I will not point them to Stephen Moss, but rather that I will point them to their Redeemer.
• Third large group on Tuesday!
• Freshmen Guys Cookout at my apartment on Thursday after our second Bible study. Yep...we will be having the whole "small" group over, along with some upperclassmen who will be coming to help. I'm pumped. The grill my grandparents gave us is going to be thrown into duty very quickly. I'm so glad we live in a place like Sequoyah Village, where we not only have some space inside, but we have an awesome common courtyard area outside that will make events like this one possible. What a blessing!

Okay, I'm going to go ahead and wrap this up.

After a couple more points, that is.

I realize I haven't had many pictures to post lately. That's mostly because I have lost my digital camera. I have no idea where it is (typically the way it goes with things that are lost). I'll hopefully be getting a copy of the group picture we took today at the Ministry Team Retreat, and I'll post it on here as soon as I get it. (Update: you'll see it up there now!)

I also realize I haven't posted any pictures of the apartment yet. I can't wait to, but I'm waiting until we put the finishing touches on the place. It looks great already, and my roommate Jeff and I are so excited about the living situation. I'll post more on that once there are pictures to go with it.

My fall newsletter will be going out sometime in September. If would like to get one and are not currently on my mailing list (meaning you haven't received anything RUF-related from me by snail-mail), then send your adddress to me at stephen.moss@ruf.org. Also, if you would like to be on my email newsletter list, let me know that as well.

Thank you all for your love, support, encouragement, and prayers. I realize the beginning of this post sounded a little melodramatic, but God has been so good and I'm so thankful for all of His blessings. Things are going very well in Knoxville. Just continue to pray that my heart, which is currently overflowing with all of life's newness, will be able to begin soaking in the lessons that God has for me to learn. This numb feeling is not a good one...

Let me know if you're ever passing through Knoxville. I love being so close to the mountains, and I am excited to share them with you, as well as this awesome city. Maybe I'll even make you a Hawaiian turkey burger.

Until next time -

Resting in His promises,

Stephen

Cooking...

I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole cooking thing. Dumped a Bertolli meal-in-a-bag in the skillet today for lunch...but then this afternoon I had a wave of inspiration (not to mention a little time on my hands.)

Behold: the results.

First: the main course. A Hawaiian-marinated turkey burger (made from scratch, of course), grilled on the George Foreman and topped with grilled mango and onions, provolone, and BBQ sauce.

On the side you have the hand-cut parmesan-garlic potato wedges. Quite tasty.

Add some steamed broccoli to make things healthy, and then...to throw healthiness completely out the window:

Peach cobbler...made with fresh Georgia peaches that my Grandma brought me on Sunday.

Okay, so I realize it's quite lame to take pictures of dinner and post them on your blog. But you must realize where I have come from. Remember 2 weeks ago when a Bertolli meal-in-a-bag was blogpost-worthy?

There will be another post coming soon about this past week, but I'll go ahead and say that we had our 2nd large group last night, and it was awesome! We have our first freshman guys small group tomorrow, so prayers would be appreciated for that. We currently have 24 guys signed up!

But as I said...there will be more to come later. I just had to show off my meal first. ;-)

It's a Party at the UT-K...

So yes...large group "numero uno" has come and gone. Hard to believe! It was kind of whirlwind, but you know what? It was awesome. We had a great turnout, and I was able to meet a lot of people.

As you'll see in the diagram, we have an awesome location for our large group meetings. No, unfortunately, they don't let us use Neyland Stadium. (We did have a great turnout, but 106,800-ish empty seats might have been a little discouraging.) However, we meet right next door in the Alumni Memorial Building. It's a great

venue for the meetings, and it was a packed house!

You might have been able to tell from my last post that I was a little anxious about large group. Any transition like this can be stressful, but going from a large group at Samford that averages around 70-80 to one that averages a little more than 200 was making my stomach twist itself into knots. Of course, this was me focusing more on myself and my shortcomings than on Christ and His promises and power in my weakness.

Okay...pardon the pop culture reference here...not sure if this is appropriate, but I definitely had a Miley Cyrus moment there in large group on Tuesday night. I walked in, and my "tummy was turnin'" and I was "feelin' kinda homesick." You know..."too much pressure and I'm nervous?" Then the worship team started playing the guitar, and that Indelible Grace song was on. "Come Ye Sinners," to be specific...a song we used all the time at Samford RUF. Then "the butterflies flew away," I "knew I was going to be okay," and it was a Party at the UT-K. However, lest you be concerned, I was certainly not "moving my hips like yeah."

I could continue the analogy...such as how it was "not a Nashville party" (or was it?), and how I obviously didn't get the "memo" about the Chacos. BUT...that would be pushing it.

If you have no idea what just happened...don't worry about it. Please. Don't. ;-)

Needless to say, I know it was not the familiar music that made me feel at home, but rather the Holy Spirit speaking to my heart through the worship and telling me that even though I was in a completely different setting with a lot more people, I was right where He wanted me to be. As obvious as this sounds, we were worshiping the same God, hearing the same Word, and on the same mission. I might have come in feeling lost and overwhelmed, but I left knowing I was at home.

There are still many many adjustments ahead, and I still have so much to learn and more areas needing growth and maturing than I'd care to admit. But I know the same God who brought me here to Tennessee will give me what I need these next two years. I'm not called to have all the answers or to know exactly what I'm doing...I'm called to follow Christ and point others to Him. That's our mission everywhere...Samford, UT...anywhere and everywhere.

Prayer. That's what I really need right now...and

here are some ways you can pray:

1.) Pray for the Freshmen! Classes started on Wednesday, and any of you who have been in that position know how crazy these first few days can be. Pray that God will give them peace and that they will look to Him for their strength, whether things are going great or awful.

2.) Pray for all the students at UT! In addition to freshmen, all the UT students are getting back into the swing of things. Each new year brings it's own set of new challenges...especially for the seniors as "the real world" is approaching rapidly, maybe more rapidly than they'd prefer. Goodness I know that feeling. Pray that God will continue working in the hearts of UT students and that those involved in RUF can be a light on the campus, truly demonstrating His love.

3.) Pray for the staff! Please keep campus minister Brent Harriman in your prayers as he oversees the ministry, preaches the Word, and ministers to students. Also keep his family in your prayers as well. Also pray for us interns as we begin meeting with students. Pray that I will not be tempted to give them Stephen Moss, but that I will point them to Christ, the Redeemer.

Ultimately, pray that everything that we do in Tennessee RUF will be characterized by the gospel. We don't want to be a ministry that centers on the cleverness of man or the world's strategies for success. By God's grace, we desire that everything we do (large group, small groups, 1-on-1 meetings, events, even ultimate frisbee tomorrow) will be characterized by the radical, life transforming gospel message that Christ died to save us when we were dead in our sins, and now we are called to live every moment of our lives for His glory, and we're called to do that in community.

So yes, the first weekly Ultimate Frisbee Friday will be tomorrow. I would also appreciate prayers on that front. Some of you may know that my lowest grade in college was a C in Flying Disc Sports. (you think I'm joking.) I'm not praying for some kind of miraculous skills here...but avoiding an epic failure would be nice. Ha. Of course, maybe I need a little good ol' fashioned humiliation. ;-) Kidding...sort of.

I appreciate all of your prayers, encouragement, and financial support. I also appreciate you following this blog, and again, I apologize for the Miley Cyrus reference. It was low-hanging fruit, I couldn't pass it up. ha!

Resting in Him,

Stephen

Pointing to a Redeemer...

Well, kids, the fun starts tomorrow! I'm reporting at 9:00 am to help with student move-in at Tennessee! I'm told it's scorching hot and absolutely chaotic, but oh yes, I'm excited. At long last, it is finally time!

I just got back from our staff retreat, and you can see our picture to the left. That's me (obviously), Mary Beth (2nd year intern), Anne (female staff), and Brent (campus minister). I have enjoyed getting to know them all better. Please keep them all in your prayers as well.

I've been continuing getting settled into the new apartment this week. I know I haven't posted pictures yet, but I'm waiting until we things set up a little better. The living room is definitely still in progress. Everything's looking great though! It will be great place to have people over. And to those of you who were wondering...the Bertolli meal-in-a-bag leftovers were delicious. And I even took another baby step and graduated to spaghetti. Paula Deen better watch her back...

I also got my official UT parking pass. I can park in any staff lot. Oh yes...I feel so legit now.

Speaking of legit: http://www.utk.ruf.org/the-staff (Not that I base my self worth on this or anything, of course. ha!)

I must admit, I'm still a bit anxious about everything starting up. There are going to be a lot of people at the first large group on Tuesday! I've heard the number 400 tossed around a lot. Overwhelmed will probably be an understated description of me by the end of next week. What an encouragement it was to open my email this afternoon and see that one of my fellow first-year interns (yes, the same one responsible for that awesome quote in my previous post) had sent me the following Scripture passage:

"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me." 2 Corinthians 12:9

What an amazing promise. Well, I will certainly be upholding my end of the bargain, because I'll be providing plenty of weakness this week (month, semester, year, life, etc...), I'm sure!

Another source of encouragement has been the book we are reading for our Internship Study Program. The book is Instruments in the Redeemer's Hands by Paul David Tripp, and it's about personal ministry. I had read it before, but I guess it never really resonated with me...until now. Only half-way through the first chapter, and I was walloped upside the head with the following truth:

"We don't offer people a system; we point them to a Redeemer. He is hope."

So often we try to "help" people by giving them our own observations or our own bits of "wisdom." We share our own experiences, and even our own take on what God's Word says. We lay out truth, give them steps to follow, books to read, people to talk to, etc. What we don't do is point them to Christ, the only One who can really help them.

In my pride, I want to think that there is something inherent in me that made God choose me and place me as an RUF intern at UT. I like to believe that I have some good insights, that there are things I've read or learned from experience. I like to think that I'm going to meet with these guys and they're going to be blown away and their lives will change...because I'm just that awesome. Don't we all feel this way though?

But I can offer nothing on my own that will change lives, nothing that will heal broken hearts or mend broken relationships. All I can do...all that I'm called to do...is to point people to the Redeemer. As my campus minister Brent told me, my job, essentially, is to grow in Christ and rub off on others.

As I said, we had our staff retreat today. It involved a lot of logistics and planning. However, before we did anything else, we delved into John 15.

"Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing." John 15:4-5

But how often do we act as if this isn't true? Jesus doesn't mean we physically can't do anything apart from Him, but He does mean we can't do anything of any eternal value. We do plenty apart from Him! So much "ministry" today happens apart from Christ. So often when I try to "minister" to people, I'm giving them Stephen Moss...not Jesus Christ. This is a shame, and this should not be.

Please keep me in your prayers as I enter this next week. I'll be posting plenty on all of the assorted goings-on, but right now, in this calm before the storm, please pray that God's power will indeed be made perfect in my weakness, just as he promised the Apostle Paul. Pray also that as I begin meeting with students, that I'll be able to use the power of the Holy Spirit rather than the power of the flesh. Pray that I'll give them Jesus Christ instead of Stephen Moss. Pray that I'll point them to the Redeemer.

So yes, this is it. So much is on my mind right now, but I have no other option except to rest in the promises of God. He brought me to this internship, and He'll bring me through it. I am weak, but He is strong. Any impact I have on the lives of students will be by the power of the Holy Spirit, and not from my own.

Please also continue to pray for my support-raising. The Lord has already provided 85% of my budget through your generous gifts and pledges, and I have been allowed to move to Knoxville and begin the internship. However, I still have $6,000 left to raise to fulfill my yearly budget and remain in Knoxville! I'm trying not to let that distract me right now, but it's definitely still a reality.

Until my next post, which will include real stories of the internship to be sure!

Resting in Him,

Stephen

Meal in a Bag...

[exhale] The move is over, and I can now call Knoxville home. Unfortunately, some miscommunication with Comcast has left us still without internet, but that's what Starbucks is for, right? (at least until I can explore and find a better local spot with free wi-fi)

Well, I'm loving Knoxville already. It's a great city, and I also love the new place. My roommate Jeff and I have a townhouse in an older complex built back in the 192o's, right smack dab in the middle of Knoxville's Sequoyah Hills neighborhood. (For those of you from Birmingham, it's like Knoxville's "Mountain Brook.") While the place is definitely older (no central heat or a/c, no dishwa

sher, etc.), it's definitely got some character. The buildings are all brick, with front and rear entrances, all set on these cool courtyard areas. Many of the residents are also grad students and young professionals, and there's a great community feel. We're looking forward to getting a grill so we can have some awesome cookouts! It's tucked back in a nice, quiet neighborhood, but it's also only minutes from Tennessee's campus. I don't think we could have found a better set-up, and I'm so thankful that God has worked things out in

a such a way.

The move-in was tough. It involved a long 9 hour drive up from Panama City with three vehicles (dad driving the U-haul, mom driving their van, and me driving my car), and a long, hot day of hauling furniture and boxes. A big thanks goes out to my parents for all of their help moving and getting me settled. Couldn't have done it without them!

I really enjoyed my first Sunday this morning at Redeemer, the church I'll be attending for the next 2 years. It's just blocks from Tennessee's campus, and students make up about 1/3 of the congregation. I've been so blessed to have Faith as my church family back in Birmingham, and I'm very thankful to have another wonderful church family here in Knoxville. I can't wait to get plugged in!

Well, I'd better be headed back home (wow, that's weird to say...ha) so I can get to bed at a decent hour l

ike a "grown-up." Our first staff meeting is tomorrow! And then I have a week to finish getting settled in and figuring out Knoxville before the students move in on Saturday!

Please continue to keep me in your prayers, as well as everyone else involved with RUF at Tennessee. This is bound to

be a somewhat difficult week. It's hard to realize how different living on your own is from living in a college dorm until you realize that if you don't cook for yourself...you don't eat. Ha. Thankfully, my parents fixed me up with some groceries before they left, and I "cooked" up my first meal this evening. Of course, it was just a Bertolli meal-in-a-bag. Instructions: Dump in skillet, cook, stir, cook, stir, eat. Baby steps...baby steps...

But seriously, this whole next semester is bound to be full of plenty of adjustments and growing up. For instance, my checklist tomorrow involves paying my first rent check, getting utilities set up, etc. Not to mention the job of ministering to college students at Tennessee, a job I'm completely inadequate to do. But the beautiful thing, of course, is the truth that one of my fellow first-year interns shared with me in an email this evening:

"You are inadequate for this job and you always will be. Just remember that God's grace is pretty freaking big."

Can I get an amen?

Your prayers and encouragement are so appreciated. Please keep checking back to this blog...I hope to keep it as up-to-date as possible with what God is doing in my life and through the ministry of RUF at Tennessee. I will also hopefully be posting pictures of the new apartment soon, once we're able to get everything settled in. (Also, if you would like my new mailing address, send me an email to stephen.moss@ruf.org)

All right, well it's back to the apartment for me! It will be nice to have internet there in a few days. It will also be nice to have meal-in-a-bag leftovers for lunch tomorrow. YES.

Resting in Him,

Stephen

Good ol' Rocky Top...Rocky Top, TENNESSEE...

Well, I just got the word this morning! It's official...85% of my support for this year has been raised, and I've been given the "go-ahead" to move to campus! (which is a good thing, seeing as how we had a U-haul reserved for this weekend. ha!)

ROCKY TOP...HERE I COME!!!

First and foremost, all glory goes to God. There's no possible way I could have raised this money without His help. My plan for where it was coming from and His plan (the one that actually happened) were quite different, indeed. There is zero room for me to brag here...at all. It's quite humbling to see how little I actually put into this, except for my worry, anxiety, fear, stress, seek for control, and feeble plans. But this is God's way of showing us how dependent we really are on Him, for everything! I will be learning that lesson on an even grander scale, it seems, this year.

I would also like to thank all of you who have given so generously to make this internship possible. It will be a joy to partner with you in this ministry to the students of the University of Tennessee. I can assure you that it's a ministry based firmly in the gospel of Jesus Christ.

I would also like to thank all of you who have encouraged and prayed for me through this whole process. Your prayers have been felt! Keep 'em coming!

So what now?

Well, we are loading up the U-haul today. (yes...good timing right?) and then tomorrow, we (my parents and I) hit the road for Knoxville! I'll be moving into the apartment on Friday.

Next week will be spent getting settled in my new place, figuring out Knoxville, and meeting with the Tennessee RUF staff. We'll have a staff retreat (Campus Minister Brent Harriman, the other 2 interns Anne and Mary Beth, and myself) at the end of the week, and then the students move in that weekend! It's all happening so fast, and it hasn't even started yet!

Please PRAY for this move, that it will go smoothly. I will also covet your prayers next week as I juggle settling in to a new apartment in a new city with gearing up for the new job!

Also, I must remember that I'm not the only one getting ready to move to a new place and start a new life-chapter. There are a bunch of incoming freshmen at Tennessee that are getting rady to do the same thing. Keep them in your prayers as well.

And...I must also add: While I have reached 85% and can move to campus, there is still 15% left in my yearly budget that I must raise so that I can remain on campus. If you would still like to give financially, you can do so at any time during the year. It will always be needed and welcome. www.ruf.org/donate is the easiest way to do so.

Thank you all again for your support, encouragement, love, friendship, and prayers!

Next update will be from Knoxville!

Soli Deo Gloria!

Stephen

Well I've had years of cramped up city life
Trapped like a duck in a pen
All I know is it's a pity
Life can't be simple again

Oh Rocky Top, you'll always be
Home sweet home to me
Good ol' Rocky Top
Rocky Top, Tennessee!