Renewal for the City...

“Thus says the LORD of hosts, the God of Israel, to all the exiles whom I have sent into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon: Build houses and live in them; plant gardens and eat their produce. Take wives and have sons and daughters; take wives for your sons, and give your daughters in marriage, that they may bear sons and daughters; multiply there, and do not decrease. But seek the welfare of the city where I have sent you into exile, and pray to the LORD on its behalf, for in its welfare you will find your welfare." (Jeremiah 29:4-7 ESV)

Where to begin? It was a very long, but very exciting and life-changing week in Chicago with Sunshine Gospel Ministries. The trip with Tennessee RUF didn't wind up panning out, however, my old RUF group from Samford was going the same week. They were kind enough to let me jump in with them, and what a week it was!

We (Samford) were there with other RUF groups from UT-Chattanooga and Birmingham Southern, as well as two other groups from Bethel University and Indiana University. We were participating in Sunshine's Bridge Builders Week. You can read a fantastic description of Bridge Builders here. In short, it's a short-term missions program where groups come to Chicago not just to serve, but ultimately to learn. In addition to work projects, there is teaching on a biblical perspective on the poor as well as other special experiences to enhance and accompany the teaching. These experiences included a tour of Pacific Garden Mission, Meal Share (going out into the city in teams of 2 with an extra bag lunch, with the purpose of sitting down and eating with a homeless person), and the "El" Experience (riding from one side of the city to the other on Chicago's "El" train, with the purpose of striking up friendly conversations with whomever wound up sitting next to us.) The combination of the excellent teaching with these experiences led to a life-changing, transformational week.

One lesson that stuck with me was when Sunshine's director, Joel Hamernick, led us in discussion about causes for poverty. We all volunteered reasons, which we noticed him grouping into 3 unlabeled categories on the white board. He then labeled one category "tragedy." This included death of a family member, loss of a job, natural disaster, etc. The next category he labeled "personal sin." This included drug and alcohol addiction, crime, laziness, etc. The final category only had 2 reasons that had been offered up, much smaller than the others. He labeled this one "injustice and oppression." We were realized that most of our reasons for poverty had been in the tragedy or personal sin realm. The only ones given for oppression had even been individual instances (like abuse and abandonment). We learned that as members of a cultural majority (especially in America), we rarely see injustice and oppression that is systemic rather than specific or individualized. While poverty coming from Tragedy or Personal Sin requires some act for it to occur, we saw that poverty coming from injustice only requires us to go on living naturally, maintaining the status quo.

The biggest lesson we learned was to view every human being as an image-bearer of God. Joel reminded us that "you can't minister effectively to someone you think less of." As image-bearers of God, every human-being deserves to be treated as such. Every person has a story, every person wants to be listened to and understood...every person wants to be treated like a person. Far from seeing ourselves as the "helpers" coming in to help the lowly poor, we had to see ourselves as poor and impoverished, helpless apart from the grace of God. As we took to the streets to sit and eat with the homeless, our mission was simply to engage with them as human-beings, listen to them, see them as image-bearers, perhaps even learn from them.

Throughout the week, we were split up into different work projects in the mornings. Some helped out with remodeling projects around the church that was hosting us (we slept in their gym. it's in the middle of one of Chicago's more dangerous Southside neighborhoods, Woodlawn, and 90% of the congregation is homeless. They are doing a lot in the neighborhood, and we were greatly blessed by their hospitality!). Some helped doing demolition work in another building nearby that would soon be home to a church plant. Some of us went into the schools to help out the teachers and staff, spend time with students, etc. One group went to a public elementary school (Wadsworth), and another group went to Hyde Park High School, where they were also able to talk to students about college and encourage them to continue their schooling.

Our group went to Master's Academy, a small Christian school there in the Woodlawn neighborhood. It only had 32 students in K-8th grades, 4 teachers, a principal, and some volunteers. We were so impressed. The founder of the school had grown up in the neighborhood and managed to graduate high school and attend college. He came back, and by God's grace, defying all naysayers, began a Christian school in one of Chicago's dangerous South side neighborhoods. We were able to help with all kinds of projects around the school (with so few staff, there was plenty to be done from hanging artwork to cleaning the kitchen! we soon realized that when volunteers weren't there, the principal would often have to clean the kitchen herself between breakfast and lunch.) We were also able to spend a lot of time with the students, and they were awesome. It was so encouraging to see their gifts, talents, and individual personalities being nurtured and encouraged by the teachers. These students were being affirmed, encouraged, and loved...and it was evident in their behavior. They were all very well-behaved and ambitious. One 4th grade boy told me he was going to go to MIT! Talking with the 4 middle school boys, I found that one was an excellent classical pianist, another was a extremely gifted (and self-taught) artist, and another was obsessed with the muppets and wanted to be a puppeteer. We also heard a few of them freestyling Christian rap, and couldn't believe our ears how talented they were! It was sobering to realize that so many students in the neighborhood didn't have these same opportunities to be creative, be themselves, be nurtured spiritually, and set their sights on college. However, it was so encouraging to see how God was working through the Master's Academy staff to make a difference in the lives of what students they could. Joel encouraged us all that whether we could make a difference in the lives of 10,000 students (like a social entrepreneur he knew with a plan to build a system of charter schools), 30 students (like Master's Academy), or just 1 student (like a family he knew who took a troubled student into their home, eventually sending her to college)...we could all make a difference.

We learned so much from our experiences in Chicago, and the staff at Sunshine were wonderful. In everything Joel taught us, he showed the upmost humility and winsomeness. He never relied on guilt or manipulation, but rather the gospel. We left feeling inspired and excited rather than browbeaten. True love and concern for others is born out of the gospel...not guilt.

I wish I could write about everything I learned this week, but this post is already so long! I'll say one of the biggest lessons I'm bringing home with me is seeing everyone as an image-bearer of God, someone with a story to tell, someone who longs to know and be known. Having to strike up conversations with total strangers on Chicago's "El" train has shown me I can do that very same thing back here in Knoxville...right here on Tennessee's campus!

Thank you all for your prayers. It was a very exciting week (not to mention exhausting!), and it was great to spend it with some old friends (and new ones) from Samford RUF. It was also great to spend some time in such a beautiful city. Chicago is such a cool place. Like all big cities, it's amazing to see both the utter brokenness of man and man's reflection of God's image juxtaposed in such a magnificent way. We are reminded of our need for redemption as well as the new creation to come, and the vibrant diversity gives us a taste of that new creation. Cities are tragically beautiful, but ultimately hopeful, places.

I will finish up the post now, but of course, there must be pictures...haha. Enjoy. (photo credit for some of the pictures goes to Rachel Freeny! thanks!)

Resting in His Promises,

Stephen

The Chicago River was dyed green for St. Patrick's Day! So cool!

Part of the Samford group by the river in downtown Chicago

The actual house from the true story "Raisin in the Sun" was based on...only a few blocks from where we stayed.

The church where we stayed in Chicago's Woodlawn neighborhood

Me with Samford intern Scott Morris...it was great to also be able to hang out with some of the other RUF interns!

The hallway at Master's Academy...so colorful and full of life! We loved it!

The students at Master's Academy had each painted Bible stories, and we helped them create a
Sistine Chapel ceiling in their library.

One of the middle school boys drew this version of the Mona Lisa...self-taught. We were amazed!

Some of the kids from Sunshine's after-school program came over one afternoon from Awana Olympics...so much fun!

Our Awana Olympics team!

With some of the Master's Academy students at recess.

Me and my football buddy at Master's Academy...he made sure I knew he was only in 1st grade when he beat me.

Deep dish pizza at Lou Malnati's in Chicago's west side

On top of Chicago's Hancock Tower

Such a beautiful city!!!

Loving Campus...

Spring has sprung here in East Tennessee, and it is beautiful. I'm told it'll probably get cold again before it warms up for good, but today's sunny high of 65 was a beautiful taste of things to come. I was able to move all of my 1-on-1's for the day outside to the grassy amphitheater (one of UT's few green spaces) and pretty much stayed planted there all day. I have a sunburn on my right arm and right-side of my face to prove it...but it was definitely worth it.

Things have been going very well this semester...better than I could have ever expected. The best part is that I can't trace this to anything I have done or anything I've changed. I'm bringing just as much of my mess to ministry as I was before. But through my broken efforts, I am seeing God at work. Relationships are growing, and with those deepening relationships are coming more and more opportunities for gospel conversations. I've had opportunities to go through books of the Bible with a few guys, and I'll also be going through Tim Keller's Reason for God with a few others. After a difficult first semester, I am seeing fruit develop where I thought there would be none, and I am learning more (about God and about myself) in this short period of time than I think I've ever learned before.

A couple weeks ago, there was a day very similar to today. The sun was shining and the weather was beautiful. Meetings had been going very well, I'd just had a great conversation, read an encouraging passage in Scripture, and I was walking back across campus to my car with a spring in my step. As I looked around, it hit me..."I love the University of Tennessee."

The campus that originally looked like a vast and confusing concrete jungle now had this warm aura of home. I loved the students I knew through RUF, but I felt this great desire to get to know the students I was passing on the sidewalk...to sit down and talk with them and hear their story. I just loved the institution in general, and felt this longing to see it redeemed...I even began to warm up to the highlighter orange that is the school's color. Basically, I was beginning to feel less like a visitor and more like a part of the University of Tennessee, and as part of the University, I had desire to serve it and see it transformed by the love of Christ.

This was all well and good.

And then, a few days later, the clouds rolled in. It was quite a bit colder, and the gray skies were spitting out this nasty mist of rain. As I drove away from campus, the warm aura of home was gone. Returned was the feeling of otherness, of separateness. I didn't want to hear the story of the guy who just walked in front of my car, I wanted him to hurry up and get out of my way (and I strongly considered honking.) My meetings that day hadn't been terrible, but they hadn't been what I was hoping for. I walked away feeling I either hadn't said enough, or that I said too much. I just wanted to go home, sit on my couch, and hibernate for a few days.

Where had that love gone? Just days ago, you couldn't have dragged me out of Knoxville if you had tried. I was right where I was supposed to be, and couldn't have been happier. How quickly that had shifted to wanting to escape, leave the "concrete jungle" behind, and curl up in my living room for the weekend. I didn't dislike the University exactly, but that love had been replaced with a distinct indifference.

Was it possible that my "love" was nothing more than the combination of sunshine and a stroked ego? How did I even define a "good meeting"? Was it really because I felt the gospel was applied and Christ was at the center of the discussion, or was it because I felt accepted...even admired? Was I seeking my own glory and affirmation rather than pointing to the Redeemer? And it's certainly true that I'm a sucker for a sunny day...

Did it really only take a couple not-as-great meetings for that love to dissipate? Could all of my feelings about an institution the size of UT really hinge upon a couple instances where I didn't feel as liked and affirmed as I wanted to be? Sadly, it seemed that was the case.

That love for Rocky Top has since returned, and I do love the University of Tennessee. As God has worked on my heart this year, I have seen that love develop, and I've seen it grow. I do love the students here. I love the ones I know, and I want to get to know more...especially those who feel lonely, rejected, or who don't know the love of Christ. I long to see this great institution redeemed, to see God get the glory with every yell of "Go Vols!" Yes, I love UT. However, I'm seeing that that love is still shallower than I thought. It's still tied in many ways to how I am feeling loved at any given time.

I am praying that God will continue to grow and foster that love in my heart, and that it will be a love that is rooted in the gospel rather than my self-image. As the gospel becomes more real to me, I pray that my love for and desire to serve the students of UT will be the natural response to how God first loved me. Only then will my love be immune to the daily whims of ministry, the ups and downs from one meeting to the next. As I grow to understand the love that Christ had for me when I was His enemy, my love for the University of Tennessee will be less and less dependent on what UT is doing for me.

This is just one of the things I feel like God has been teaching me through the internship...what an experience it has been. It is hard. It's very hard, actually. But I'm so encouraged and excited to see the ways God is at work, and I pray that I can continue to be an instrument in His Hands as He accomplishes His purposes on the campus of UT-Knoxville.

I ask your prayers specifically for the intern placement process that is currently going on. Both of my co-interns here at UT, Anne and Mary Beth, will be moving on next year. Anne will be getting married this summer and moving to Jackson, MS, and Mary Beth plans to attend seminary. It'll be very sad to lose them here in Knoxville, and they will be missed, although we're very excited to see how God will be at work in each of their lives. Keep them in your prayers as that transition nears, and also be in prayer over the next couple of weeks as a new female intern is selected and placed here at UT. Pray for her, whoever she may be, as she finishes up school this year and begins the fundraising process...and then the move to Knoxville in 5-6 months!

Thank you all so much for your prayers and continued support. I'll post more specific information about everything going on in Tennessee RUF soon, but in the meantime, you can check out our website at http://www.utk.ruf.org. If you haven't been there before, definitely give it a look. You'll find pictures, events, announcements, and more detailed information about what RUF is in general, and what it looks like specifically at UT.

Resting in His Promises,

Stephen

"Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another." (1 John 4:7-11 ESV)